The Grass is Always Greener on the Other Side 🌿
Be forewarned — this article is slightly a tongue in cheek but honest rendition of my fleeting thoughts.
I would like to say that I had to contemplate for a painfully significant amount of time convincing myself that I tried very hard to not write this article. But I’d be lying outright if I said so. After having read a chapter on ethics for my Managerial Negotiations quiz, this afternoon, I could not bear to have this on my conscience. But it’s true that every time I expose my vulnerabilities on any platform be it through my words either in speech or in writing — people assume I’m lost and in need of help. I’ve had concerned people reach out to me before offering support. I assure you it’s not always the case.
As for today? Certainly not!
What can I say? I like to be blunt and I just love to be raw.
So what is it that I am so in dire need of sharing with the outside world, despite my supposed apprehensions.
Let me lay the footing…
The past few months have been the best and worst days of my life. I tend to use say this a lot and I attribute it to my very happening life. It would not be right if I didn’t document as I so strongly claim to be a writer some day.
But in everything I do — I worry about what other people might think. It’s tough little habit to drop. I’m been trying — it’s just too hard. I know a majority of people don’t bother about anything but themselves. Sort of what I’m doing right now, as well. However, there are certainly a select few who assume that every time I pick up my pen or fiddle with my thumbs on my phone (ah, you guessed it , right — I’m writing on my phone) it’s about a scholarship application article or something related to my internship or perhaps another NYC post. How do I know? I’ve met these lovely folks and they have told me this themselves. Yes, I’ve had the good fortune of having some really exciting opportunities come my way. But that’s not who I am. And I would rather not have others define me by it. We all have our worries and scruples about our lives. We pay our dues to the devil — it just varies in form and function.
And I strongly believe that one opportunity or one job don’t fix your life for you. They are going to be bigger things coming your way — happy things and bad things.
You have to figure out things in your own way. No amount of knowledge accumulating and pre-planning can prepare you for the world. It might make the inevitable blows, you are to experience- as and when life throws at you- feel less painful but it’s never the substitute. And it definitely isn’t the remedy either.
Maybe I’m being overtly presumptuous today and paying too much heed to my inner thoughts. But isn’t everyone is free to share their thoughts so why can’t I? Alas, this is not one of those rhetorical question. For I know why I’m anxious. To be honest, it’s the innate fear of being lost in this ocean of noise surrounding us that terrifies me to the core. What if I’m part of the noise? How do I stand out? What if by standing out — I’m in fact stepping into the epicenter of noise?
And now if you are still here with me — I’ll get to the meat of it. From having an amazing summer internship and learning the intricacies of a field I was a total noob to -just a few months ago, to meeting the most amazing people who shared their wonderfully quirky stories with me to being a COVID fighter ( I got it in NYC when I was under quarantine- God works in mysterious ways) to really understanding the struggles of being an international student to be soon graduating in the middle of an “unprecedented” pandemic — the grass is always greener on the other side!
Phew — pent up thoughts all coming out at once. If you nodded your head or rolled your eyes at your phone screen as you read this post — let me know below!
